


An Unfamiliar Force

by Awakening5



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Force-Sensitive Finn, Jedi Finn, Knight of Ren Rey, Rey of Ren?, ysalamiri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awakening5/pseuds/Awakening5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you ever think..." Finn started. He took a deep breath. "Do you ever think how things might be, if you'd come with Poe and me?"</p><p>"When Kylo Ren took me from Jakku I did," Rey responded safely.</p><p>"And never since then?" Finn asked, his eyebrows knit together.</p><p>There was a long pause. And for reasons unknown even to her, Rey answered honestly. "Not until last night."</p><p> </p><p>Rey finds herself marooned on an island without the Force, and with Finn. The Jedi. The hope of the Resistance. Her enemy in the galactic struggle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forceless

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not as well-versed in Star Wars as I'd like to be. But as I've been learning more and more, my own ideas about the Light and Dark Side of the Force have spawned. Then, I learned about Force-negating ysalamiri from the EU. So, naturally, I had to write this story to explore how these three sides of the Force could affect our favorite new heroes! Of course, this is AU, but I hope it stays true to the characters if things had played out slightly differently on Jakku.

Rey felt a grin come to her face as she dipped her Tie Advanced x3 Starfighter into the atmosphere of the planet Myrkr. The forest planet was beautiful from high in the sky—the green and blue briefly made Rey reflect on her time on Jakku, ever grateful that the planet was long behind her. She shook her head of the reverie and focused on the enemy in front of her. The Jedi Finn, in his aged X-Wing, wouldn't last five minutes in a dogfight with her.

With each passing second, her laser cannon fire grew closer and closer to the Resistance member. He wove back and forth, altering his speed, trying to force an overshoot. But for each maneuver Finn performed, Rey countered perfectly. He had certainly improved his piloting since their last encounter—but he was no match for her and her new fighter.

He took a sudden left and burst forward with great speed. Rey followed, and quickly caught up. In his attempt to put distance between them, he'd left his fighter on a straight path, an easy target. She fired her laser cannons once more, and Finn's quick dip to the right couldn't spare the left wing from being blasted apart.

The X-Wing fell out of the sky, falling quickly to the ocean below. Rey overshot the falling aircraft and took her time in looping back around. There were miles and miles of water in all directions Finn would have nowhere to run to.

As she swooped back around, however, she noticed a small island to where Finn had been directing his ship. She quickly dropped her altitude, arriving at the small island a short while after Finn had crash landed. She blasted the X-Wing on the ground, and it erupted into flames.

Rey pulled up quickly to avoid the large crag that took up half of the small island. She slowed her vessel and approached the island once more, needing to confirm her kill. The island, much like the mainlands of the planet, was covered in trees. It took her a moment to find a clearing large enough to set her Tie Fighter down safely.

She shut the fighter down, opened the door and clambered out of the cockpit. Immediately, an odd feeling swept through her. However, focused on her destination, Rey didn't think much of it. She ran after the billowing smoke, rising above the trees. However, she didn't get far before she heard a sickening sound of a lightsaber igniting behind her.

She turned just in time to see Finn lopping off the right wing of her fighter and thrusting his blue blade through the windshield and into the controls of her ship. The ship teetered for a moment, before falling to its side, where the wing no longer kept the fighter upright.

"NO!" she shouted and raced back after him, furious that she hadn't felt his presence and seen this coming. But then she slowed to a stop as she reached out with the Force, only to come up empty. She couldn't feel anything. She reached out desperately with her hand once more to Force push Finn off of her dismantled fighter. But there was no Force for her to control.

She had heard tales of the Ysalamiri on the planet Myrkr, but she'd thought them legends. Small lizards capable of making the Force uncontrollable around them. In large groups, their impact grew mightily. Rey wondered if the whole island would be blanketed in their power, thus removing her own.

Finn leapt to the ground, a crooked smile on his lips. "I thought it was only fair—you took out my ship, I take out yours."

Rey scowled. "You've only just buried yourself," she said, reaching to her hip to grab her lightsaber.

Finn twirled his weapon in his hands carefully, almost experimentally. And Rey knew why. He couldn't feel the Force either, and it caused him some hesitation. She would use that against him. She charged him quickly, red light emerging from her hilt as she approached.

Finn's face grew peaceful as he awaited her, saber raised in the air.

Rey struck out, swinging wide over her head. Finn easily caught her heavy blow with his blade and kicked out at her exposed middle. She fell back, shocked.

Without the Force fueling her, she couldn't perceive his actions—she had grown far too accustomed to the power. She rolled backwards with a grunt and got back to her feet. Finn looked impressed with himself.

"I've already done more than in our last encounter. That's a definite win for me."

Rey scowled at the former Stormtrooper—the traitor. He was treating this like a joke. "You realize you're about to die, right?"

He frowned. "Come on, you can't give me a moment to be proud that my hard work has paid off?"

Rey raised her saber once more. She knew she'd have to forget her training with Kylo Ren, now, and remember her days on Jakku, when she fought with nothing but a stick and grit. "Congratulations, you got a kick off on me."

"Thank you," Finn said, and Rey couldn't tell if he was matching her sarcasm, or if he earnestly thought her comment to be praise.

Rey charged once more; only this time, she was much more measured. When she'd fought off competing scavengers, their weapons wouldn't have killed her with one strike. She was in new territory here.

Their blades met, and a careful dance began. She could tell that Finn was being as tentative as she was, more concerned about the other's attack than their own. Normally, she'd view this as a weakness, and expose it immediately. Now, she couldn't risk going for a killing blow, lest she be left exposed once more.

They moved through the forest around them, using their surroundings as much as their own swordsmanship abilities. Every time Rey thought she'd gained an advantage, Finn would counter her and send her backpedaling.

After several minutes, she began to tire. The sweat on Finn's forehead revealed his own fatigue setting in. Nevertheless, it was Rey who slipped up first—literally. Stumbling over a root in the ground while backpedalling, Rey tumbled to the ground. Finn took quick advantage and swung hard at her saber. Having loosened her handle on her weapon to catch herself, the blade flung from her hand.

Finn stepped slowly over her body, his lightsaber dangerously close to her face. Rey felt her eyes close and she took a deep breath. Her biggest regret was that she was devoid of the Force for her final minutes.

But the end never came, and her eyes slowly opened to find Finn appraising her carefully. "Just finish it," Rey said angrily.

"Not the Jedi way," Finn said softly. Rey scoffed, so Finn added to his response. "It's also not my way. You've been beaten—and if you would have taken just a few minutes to think about it before attacking me, you'd realize that it's not good for us to kill each other."

Rey felt her eyebrows scrunch in confusion as she tried to decipher his logic. "I don't follow."

The blue lightsaber retreated, and Finn instead extended his hand. Rey was too intrigued by Finn's logic to try to take advantage of his weakness. But she didn't take his hand, instead leaning up on her elbows and raising her eyebrows at him. Finn rolled his eyes. "Think about it, Rey. We don't know which rescue party will arrive first. Normally, that wouldn't be an issue for either of us, because we can take on a small rescue group of Stormtroopers or Resistance fighters."

"But we don't have the Force," Rey continued, realization dawning on her. "Killing each other only results in a fifty percent chance of capture." She shook her head. "But we'd just sell the other out anyway."

"Maybe I should kill you then." Finn smirked at her, raising his eyebrows. "I was hoping we could enter a truce—we don't sell each other out and we both live to fight another day."

Rey's eyes narrowed. "How do I know I can trust you, because you sure as hell can't trust me."

Finn shrugged and re-extended his hand to help her up, an irritating smile on his face. "Well, I appreciate the honesty up front. I guess it's a risk we'll have to take."

Rey studied him for a long moment. Her previous encounters with the Jedi consisted only of a brief encounter with him on Jakku, a lightsaber duel on D'Qar, and a dogfight over Bespin. In all three cases, the Resistance fighter Poe Dameron had bailed him out, so her perception of the young man had always been one of weakness.

But this man in front of her was more confident than she'd ever expected, and the smile he kept flashing her alternated between being annoying, intimidating, and charming.

Rey knew something else was going on. A fifty percent chance was not enough to risk her slitting his throat while he wasn't looking. But she had to admit, he was right. She had been beaten, and in an odd act of respect, she wouldn't kill him unless it was in an honest fight. It had only been a year since she had been the scavenger on Jakku, and there was a code that she and other scavengers had lived by. First come, first serve, you didn't steal from another scavenger. She now felt that same code of respect extending into battle.

"How did you beat me?" Rey demanded, still ignoring his outstretched hand.

"I've been training," Finn replied defensively, if a bit lightly. "And I got a little lucky—I mean, I ought'a thank this tree here to tripping you up."

"I've been training, too. And I beat you easily before."

"The Dark Side is quick, easy," Finn responded, serious for the first time. "You use your emotions to fuel your power and command the Force. I have spent months preparing my soul and body to be a worthy vessel of the Force. Naturally, when the Force is gone—and the body is all that's left—I will be the better swordsman."

Rey frowned at Finn, angry that he was using this moment to preach about the Light to her. But she couldn't refute what he said, so she reached out and grabbed his hand. That intimidating smile returned, and he pulled her to her feet.

They stood motionless for a long moment before Finn nodded in the direction of her lightsaber, releasing her hand. Even more confused, Rey slowly backed towards her weapon, unable to believe he would let her reclaim her biggest chance of destroying him.

He observed her, but his eyes were calm, not cautious. She bent down and picked up the weapon, relieved to feel the metal in her hands once more. She turned back to Finn. "I'm not entirely sure what your ploy is, Finn. But I'll be watching you closely."

"I'm flattered," Finn replied, his smile now charming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed and will stick around for more. Their past will be detailed a bit more, and we're only just starting on their future...


	2. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Finn try to put aside their differences for survival.

"Even if one of our groups sent help right away, it will take at least three days to get here," Finn said as they walked back towards Rey's damaged Tie Fighter. "And since you destroyed my ship and the rations inside of it, we've got to make do with your rations."

"Excuse me?" Rey asked incredulously. "Why would I give you any of my rations?"

"You don't have any rations, do you?" Finn deadpanned, a knowing smirk on his face.

"Well," Rey hesitated. "That's beside the point. I may have a meal's worth of food or so. But I'm certainly not giving you any of it."

"Fine, you can take it."

"I _can_ take it?" Rey repeated as her ship came into view. "Where do you get off—"

"I'd really hoped we had moved past this part, Rey," Finn said with a groan. "We're stuck here, together, and we should make the best of it."

Rey stopped in her tracks and let out an exasperated moan of her own. "You are my enemy, Finn! I still don't know why you didn't kill me, much less why I should be working with you."

Finn stopped and turned around, his face blanketed in confusion, as if the idea that he was her enemy was a completely new concept. "We already talked about why I didn't kill you, and I don't see why you can't put aside our differences for survival. I'm sure we've both got some skills that can help us survive."

"I don't want you to survive!" Rey retorted.

"Then kill me." Finn said simply.

"What?"

"If you want me dead so badly, take your saber and kill me."

Rey was so surprised by the request, she was sure she didn't understand. "You want me to kill you?"

"Of course not," Finn said, as if she was the crazy one.

She ignited her saber threateningly. But Finn just gazed at her, the same, irritating calmness emanating from him as before. She took a step forward, and still no reaction.

Rey didn't get it. First, she didn't understand Finn's motivations. She couldn't guess at why he wasn't putting up a fight. Or why he wasn't even in a defensive or nervous stance. But moreso, she didn't understand why she hadn't already struck him down. 

Sure, she had a code and, because she'd been beaten, had decided she wouldn't kill him unless it was a fair fight. But he had given her permission. It wouldn't be a cheap shot if he knew it was coming.

Still, she couldn't take another step. Maybe it was his own blasé attitude towards it all. Maybe she suspected he had some crazy plan and she would be playing right into it by swinging her lightsaber at him. Maybe, without the Dark Side urging on her every move, she had less motivation to kill someone just because they were an enemy. 

In fact, with each passing moment, she felt a little bit more like Rey the Scavenger, and a little less like a Knight of Ren. And she didn't hate that. She turned her lightsaber off, and glared at Finn.

A bright, vaguely attractive, smile came to Finn's face. "Good!" he said happily as he turned back to the fighter. "I really didn't want to die just now, and I'm glad we can put all this animosity behind us."

Rey didn't say anything as Finn climbed into her ship and pulled out the rations that were stored inside. When he hopped back down, she broke her silence. "You can take half the meal."

Finn smiled at her once more before handing the supplies over to her. "I appreciate it—but we're not surviving on one meal anyways. You take it, and I'll get started looking for something to eat. I've been to Myrkr before, and know a few things that are edible on this planet."

Rey nodded, still amazed at what was happening. She was working with Finn. A Jedi in training!

"I'll start setting up a camp. I've only done it in a desert climate before, but I'm sure the principles are the same."

Finn nodded to her before heading off into the thick forest around them. He quickly disappeared. The island couldn't be more than an hour's walk from one end to the other, but the trees were so dense, he might as well be on another island.

And for a short while, Rey was almost able to imagine herself back on Jakku—alone and fighting for her life. Sure, the setting was entirely different, but Rey knew how to survive. She set about immediately to find good cover. Like the old AT-AT that had been her home, Rey decided her Tie Fighter would provide a good basis for cover.

She took her lightsaber and cut down three trees, both opening up the camp area, and giving her new material to build shelter with. She cut the tree down to manageable sizes, trimmed off wayward branches and foliage, and carefully rolled the lumber over to her fighter.

Because Finn had taken off a wing, the Tie Fighter rested crooked on the ground. This made the available room under the ship smaller, but also easier to wall off. Rey wished, once more, that she had the Force to assist her. However, she was able to hoist each tree log up and lean them along the open spaces around the Fighter. She stepped back after a time to admire her work. The Tie Fighter was bolstered by a dozen logs, both enclosing the space under the ship, and propping it up with support beams.

There would not be a lot of space for the both of them—but Rey figured she could sleep up in the cockpit. That thought just made her question whether she had done all of this work for Finn, so Rey shook her head to keep from dwelling on it.

Instead, she looked into the sky and found dusk quickly descending. She gathered additional logs and branches to build a fire. The air was cooling quickly, and she anxiously lit some leaves and branches with her saber. 

Just as the fire burst to life, Finn came trudging back into the clearing, holding two furry lizards in his left hand, and a large boar-like creature slung over his shoulder.

"Are those..." Rey began.

"Ysalamiri," Finn finished, nodding and holding up the lizards. "I hoped when I killed them that I'd feel the Force again—but clearly there are hundreds of them on this island, in that big crag over there. It would be impossible to kill them all."

Rey nodded, having suspected as much. It was amazing that these creatures existed, and that their Force-negating abilities were so powerful. In her pride, Rey had always thought she'd be able to feel it even inside of their aura.

"Can we eat them...or will it..."

Finn let out a short laugh. "What, make us non-Force sensitive?"

Rey glared at him, and he quickly continued. "I'm only laughing because I've been wondering the same thing. I'd hoped you would know."

Rey felt her facial features relax at Finn's admission of ignorance. He was so odd—humble in a way she'd never seen anyone. He was so unlike Kylo Ren. He didn't care what she thought of him. He didn't try to boast his strength. He didn't try to anger her, hoping for a fight.

"I...I don't know either. You've been on the planet before; you didn't experience them then?"

Finn shook his head. "I might have felt their powers once or twice, but never for extended periods. And I certainly never ate one. I guess it's a good thing I caught up to this boar, so we can at least eat tonight."

Rey nodded. "I'll keep my ration for a rainy day, then."

They huddled around the fire as Finn set to work skinning the boar-like creature. "You've done this before?" Rey asked, curious. There hadn't been much to hunt on Jakku, so she'd never learned to prepare an animal for a meal.

Finn chuckled, and Rey decided that she very much liked his light attitude. In such an insane situation, she was grateful for anything to put her at ease. "When I first met Master Luke, we spent three months isolated on a planet. I had to learn quick how to find food, and how to eat it without dying."

"What's he like?" Rey found herself asking, despite herself. 

Finn glanced up at her sharply, suspicion in his eyes. "He's wise. And kind."

Rey scoffed. "I guess I shouldn't have expected you to agree with Kylo Ren and Snoke."

"That he's a misguided fool who managed to deceive Vader with sentimentality? That he's too stubborn in his Jedi ways to see the true glory of the Dark Side?"

"He'd be the most powerful man in the galaxy if he would just—"

Finn looked up from the bloody boar in his hands with an exaggerated sigh. "What is it with you Dark Siders and power? What about happiness? Why is that not your goal?"

Rey's voice rose. "Yeah, because Luke is so happy, isolated for years from those he cares about—oh wait, he's not allowed to care about anyone is he?"

"An old Jedi belief that Luke doesn't teach anymore," Finn corrected softly, not meeting her eyes. "And whose fault is it that Luke was forced into exile anyway? It's the Dark Side and the search for power that destroyed the new Jedi Order, that stole me from my parents as a child, that abducted you from Jakku."

"Kylo Ren saved me from Jakku!"

Finn stood sharply, anger in his voice for the first time. "No, _I_ tried to save you from Jakku, and you decided to stay. Ben Solo _abducted_ you and somehow convinced you to join him."

Rey flinched at the use of Kylo Ren's original name, and the reminder that she had been seconds away from deciding to go with Finn and Poe when they arrived to retrieve BB-8 on Jakku. "Kylo Ren took me from Jakku by force, yes. But he saved me from myself."

"Your self didn't need saving, Rey," Finn responded, his voice now much softer. He sat back down and set back to work on skinning their meal. "The girl I met on Jakku was more than capable of taking care of herself."

"The girl you met was weak," Rey said, but she didn't believe the words coming out of her mouth.

"And yet you kept her name," Finn retorted, glancing up at her with piercing eyes. "Kylo Ren can't stand the name of Ben Solo—but you kept Rey. Why?"

Rey faltered, knowing that answering him would lose her the argument. But he looked back at the boar and continued without her answering the question. Perhaps he knew he'd won. Rey was grateful he didn't rub it in.

"Sorry to get carried away there. Luke's a great man, and I hurt for the tragedies he has experienced in his life. That he is still the thoughtful, caring teacher that he is, after all he's been through...it's a wonder."

"You act as though none of it is his fault," Rey countered, but not with much vehemence. 

"I'm sure he's made mistakes," Finn admitted. "But never for selfish reasons. And I believe that counts for something."

Rey bit back a scoff. Luke was weak. Finn was weak for believing the weakness to be a strength. And yet, as silence fell on the pair, sitting around the cackling fire, Rey couldn't believe how much she yearned for a teacher who cared more about her than himself.

But Rey would not be so easily seduced. It was more important now, devoid of the Force, to hold on to what she believed. Kindness in her mentors was a small price to pay to achieve the power and order she craved. Kindness had left her hungry. Kindness had left her vulnerable to her abduction. But with the power that Skywalker and Finn gave up, no one would ever have to go hungry again. With order, she could keep any future little girls from being dropped on a planet and forced to work for greedy men just to survive.

Finn could keep his Light. Rey knew that it was the Dark that could save the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of these two characters and where they're coming from.


	3. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the night gets cold...

When they stayed away from touchy subjects, Finn was surprisingly easy to talk to. In fact, Rey even found a bit of comfort in Finn's chatty nature. Rey didn't think he was capable of embarrassment or nervousness. He talked about whatever was on his mind, no matter how meaningless it might be. Rey found herself responding in kind despite her internal voices telling her something was terribly wrong with the situation she was in.

When she asked him if the boar was nearly ready for consumption, Finn launched into a story about the first time he'd ever tried to cook by an open fire. He'd caught and killed a duck, and thought that would be the worst part.

"I tell you what, Rey, I couldn't hardly pluck the feathers out of that poor bird," he said with a slight smile on his face. "Most of my upbringing was shooting at mechanical targets—I couldn't shoot villagers on Jakku, and I even had a hard time killing a duck with Luke."

"It looks like you got over that particular weakness," Rey said, not unkindly.

"Right you are," Finn responded, gazing at his victim roasting over the fire. "Of course, gutting that duck was not a pretty sight. I'm still amazed my many gags didn't result in getting a mess on Luke's robes."

Rey bit back a laugh. Even if she was quite enjoying his story and his company, she didn't want Finn to know it.

"And then the _cooking_ ," Finn groaned. "How embarrassing was that?"

"What did you do?" Rey asked, unable to keep herself from being sucked into his regalement. 

"It was my first attempt at feeding the two of us. Luke had been feeding me for a week, and decided that it was time I learn to fend for myself. Sometimes I think he let me struggle just to get a good laugh 'cause I'm not sure I learned much from burning that sad duck to ashes while he just looked on, silently laughing."

Again, Rey kept the laughter at bay; instead she probed a bit to learn more about Luke. Though she told herself she was doing so to learn his weaknesses, in truth she just liked the way Finn talked about him. "That seems a bit cruel," she commented.

Finn shook his head, his laugh returning. "Oh no, if he was being cruel, then it was to himself. My unlucky master had to eat that bird for dinner, just like I did. He certainly didn't have anything to gain by letting me fail." Finn paused for a moment before shrugging. "Other than being able to make fun of me whenever I get a little too high on myself, of course."

Rey looked away from Finn's smiling face and into the fire. While she wouldn't be seduced by such sentimentality, Rey had to admit her envy at Finn's relationship with his master. She continually told herself, though, that they were the enemy. And one day, after this island was behind her, she'd have to fight them again. So she shouldn't let these stories and Finn's easy personality endear them to her.

But without the Force continually filling her mind with urges for power or dominance, Rey was having a harder and harder time listening to those thoughts. She knew she should be studying Finn for weaknesses, and exposing those weaknesses to gain an advantage; but instead, she almost felt at ease on the small island. She was free of the constant battle in her soul.

Rey shook her head, not wanting to acknowledge that her soul was constantly in a struggle with whom she had become. Fortunately, Finn was still jabbering about something, so she allowed herself to be distracted by him.

"It's not anything to write home about," Finn said through a mouthful of his now-cooked boar. "But it'll get us through the night."

He cut a piece of meat off of his make-shift rotisserie. He held his knife over to Rey with the meat still hanging on the blade. Rey reached out and took it, only now realizing how hungry she'd become. She bit into it, and had to agree with Finn. It was certainly nothing compared to the meals that were prepared for the First Oder elite. Yet, it was as good as could be expected in the situation.

"Thank you," Rey said softly, almost without thinking. Finn looked up at her sharply, which caused Rey to look away in embarrassment.

"Happy to be able to contribute, given that you've made a nice shelter for us tonight." Finn motioned to the structure she'd built around her Tie Fighter, but then he hesitated. "Unless that's just for you..."

"I'll sleep in the cockpit," Rey answered quickly.

"I didn't see any blankets in there, Rey. You'll freeze that far from the fire—"

"I'll be fine," Rey said, but inwardly cursed at not having thought about that. With the damage Finn had done to the cockpit, there wouldn't be any regulated heating, and it would be left open to the rapidly cooling air.

"You take the shelter, I'll sleep outside."

"I'll be fine," Rey reiterated. 

Finn shook out of his Jedi robes. And offered them to her. "At least wrap yourself up in this."

"I'll never wear those," Rey retorted quickly. "I'll be fine!"

Finn frowned. "Okay, but the offer stands. I don't know the season cycle of this planet, but I have a bad feeling it'll get cold here at night." Rey feared the same, but wouldn't budge unless it was necessary.

It turned out to be necessary.

After they'd finished eating, they quietly and awkwardly separated for the night. Rey scrambled up into the Tie cockpit, while Finn crawled into the shelter. Initially, Rey thought she'd be fine. But the warmth from the fire quickly left her body, and she couldn't get into a comfortable position in the crooked cockpit. Thoughts of facing Finn kept her from joining him in the shelter, however. She didn't like the idea of him seeing her weakness. She was unsure whether this was because he was her enemy or simply because she didn't want to appear weak in front of him.

But after shivering for nearly three hours, contorting her body in every which way to try to keep herself warm, she was nearly ready to wake Finn. As it turned out, she didn't need to. "Will you just come down here?" Finn's tired voice sounded from below. "I can't fall asleep with you shaking the fighter like that."

Rey sighed, a puff of breath filling the air in front of her. It didn't matter, after all. He knew she was freezing to death, whether she joined him in the shelter or not. Slowly, she picked her shivering body up and out of the cockpit, carefully clambering down to the ground below. The fire was now just embers, outside of the shelter she'd built. She reached out to warm her fingers, but the wind in the air cut her to the bone.

"Please just swallow your pride and come into the shelter _you_ built." Finn sat at the entrance, his face impatient. "There's plenty of room in here, and I'm not stupid enough to do something...well, anything."

Rey glared at him, and he just met her look with a raised eyebrow. Finally she gave in and moved into the enclosed space. She pressed herself up against the cold logs on the far side and turned away from Finn. It was still cold in here—but warmer, and there was no draft.

She heard a sigh behind her before she felt a warm cloth draped over her. It was Finn's Jedi robe, still warm from his body heat. She turned slightly, wanting to be angry at him. But he settled down, with as much space between them as possible. Now he'd be the one to freeze. 

"I can't take this," Rey said.

"It's just a robe, Rey," Finn responded tiredly. "You're not suddenly a Jedi because you have a—"

"No, I mean you're going to freeze if you don't have it."

Finn shrugged. "It's not big enough to cover the whole space here, and you clearly want as much space as possible."

Rey hesitated before sliding over slightly and tossing one arm of the robes to him. Finn got the point and slid over as well. Rey stopped the moment they were close enough for the robe to cover them both, a body's width between them.

Rey didn't know what to feel. Gratitude that he was trying to keep her alive? Confusion for the same reason? Anger that he had forced her into this position, while understanding that she had done it to him first? Or perhaps just cold, because while this was much better than the Tie Fighter, the ground was still cold, and the robe could only trap so much heat.

She began shivering again, and hated her traitorous body for giving away her weakness like this.

"Oh for the love of..." Finn said impatiently and in one swift motion he was at her side and had pulled her back to his front. His arm wound around her waist, and Rey wanted to yell at him, to scream at him to get away. But he was so _warm_.

She felt her mouth open five different times to tell him off, but her shivering had stopped. And he wasn't doing anything besides holding her. He was just a heating unit, and she was just surviving. And if she felt an odd sense of security for the first time in her memory of falling asleep, it _surely_ had to do solely with the security her heating unit was giving her from the frigid air.

And suddenly without the pressing cold, she was unbelievably fatigued, and her eyes grew heavy.

_With one final swing on her staff, the second of Unkar's thugs dropped to the ground unconscious. She immediately released BB-8 from the netting that he'd been caught in._

_"BB-8!" came a voice from behind her. Rey whipped around, staff in hand. But BB-8's excited whirs and beeps calmed her fears._

_A pair of men ran towards her, sweating profusely in the hot, desert sun. "BB-8, you're alright!" the foremost man shouted as he dropped to his knees to touch the droid tenderly. He was a bit older than her. It must be BB-8's owner, who had been captured on a classified mission._

_"That was some impressive fighting," the second man said with a smile as he approached. He was her age, but like her, it was clear his young eyes had seen things._

_"Thank you," Rey responded, more flattered than she'd care to admit._

_"No, thank_ you _," the first man said, now standing up. "BB-8 tells me you saved him, and didn't even sell him for weeks of food."_

_Rey shrugged, though internally she was still conflicted about her decision. "I couldn't just sell him. He said he was on a classified mission. Are you with the Resistance?"_

_"Well," the first man started, only to be interrupted by the second._

_"Yes," he answered surely. "We're with the Resistance. I am with the Resistance."_

_Rey looked curiously between the two men. The older smirked at the younger one. But her heart was too full of excitement and admiration to dwell on it._

_"I've never met a member of the resistance before."_

_"Pleasure to meet you," the younger man said. "I'm Finn." He held out his hand in greeting. Rey cursed herself for flinching at his extended hand before clasping it in her own._

_"Rey."_

_"And I'm Poe," the older one said, and he quickly got to business. It was clear he was the leader. "We crashed our escape ship over that dune. Is there a ship for sale around here?"_

_Rey opened her mouth to point him towards Unkar's hut. But then she glanced at his thugs, still passed out on the ground. "There's a ship over there," she said, pointing to the old trash that Unkar had stolen. "It doesn't belong to anyone because it can barely fly. Someone put a compressor on the ignition line, though, so you may have to deal with that."_

_Poe moved around some tent walls to peer at the ship in the distance. "Stars," he whispered. "Is that the Millennium Falcon?"_

_Rey looked up quickly. "Han Solo's ship?" she asked quickly. "No way!"_

_Poe looked ready to respond when a faint scream was heard from a distance._

_"Shhh," Finn said, and they all bent their heads to get a better listen._

_Rey didn't recognize the sound, but the terror on Finn's face was enough to make her uneasy. "The First Order's here," he said._

_"Let's go," Poe shouted hurriedly. "Come on BB-8."_

_He started off, but Finn hesitated. "Come with us," he said to Rey._

_"Come with you?" she asked incredulously._

_"Finn!" Poe said impatiently. "We can't just be taking people with us."_

_But Finn looked at her imploringly, and she swore she felt something stir in her when he spoke again. "I mean, obviously if you've got important things here, stay. But it's_ Jakku _. I just...feel like this wasn't a chance encounter."_

_"I..." Rey hesitated, hating that his words felt so true to her. "I can't."_

_"Finn, let's go!" Poe shouted, and suddenly an explosion sounded at a nearby tent. "We don't have time for this."_

_One last look at her. Those chocolate eyes, almost begging her to follow. "I can't," she said even softer._

_He frowned, but nodded. "Goodbye, Rey."_

She awoke in the exact same position when sunlight hit her face. It shone through a thin crack in the logs providing her shelter. Finn hadn't moved either, his arm still wrapped carefully around her, still keeping her warm. She felt his steady breath against her neck, and her skin grew warm. Warmer than simply from his body heat. And this sensation was so unique, so unexpected, Rey didn't know how to react.

It hit her suddenly, that without the Force pulsing through her, the dream she'd had of her first encounter with Finn had been generated completely by her own subconscious. She wasn't sure why this was significant, except that it felt like it was. She tried to tell herself that it was simply that they had been forced to be around each other. She also tried to keep herself from reflecting on that chance encounter and thinking 'what if?'

She wasn't very successful.

So she didn't move for a long time, trying not to enjoy the feeling of being in Finn's arms. But she felt comfortable there, and content. Soon enough, however, she heard Finn's breath hitch—he'd woken up.

His arm lifted off of her slowly and he backed away. He slipped out from under the robe, clearly still believing her to be asleep. And caring, for some reason, that she continue to sleep well.

She heard him leave the camp, presumably to find more food. She bolted upright, suddenly very concerned for him. The sun had brought warmth, but the morning air was still quite brisk. And she still had his robe.

Rey let out an exasperated groan and lay back down, furious at herself for feeling concerned for her enemy. She didn't understand what was happening to her, and suddenly she was desperate to feel the Force again. To be reminded of why he was her enemy.

Because, for the life of her, she couldn't understand why she should hate Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, for reading. I've very much enjoyed the comments I've received. Please let me know what you think of the story and/or my writing, so I can improve!


	4. Spar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friendly spar turns unfriendly.

"Good morning!" Finn said cheerfully as he walked back into the camp an hour after they'd woken, holding what looked like a piece of bark in one hand and a couple of thin, long sticks in the other. He dropped the sticks as he approached Rey.

She had started the fire again, keeping her hands close. It was still cool out.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Rey asked abruptly. "It's still a bit cold, and you left without your robe."

Finn shrugged as he sat next to her by the fire. Rey glanced at the bark more closely, and found it to be a makeshift plate, filled with berries.

"The cold doesn't bother me much—I must be from an ice planet. You seemed like you were comfortable, anyway," Finn responded nonchalantly. "Breakfast?"

Rey frowned at him as she reached for a nice looking bunch of blue berries. "You don't know where you're from?"

Finn shook his head. "The First Order may have some information on it—but they haven't been too forthcoming with that knowledge." He flashed a quick smile. 

Once more, Rey found herself surprised by how at ease Finn was. And how much better it made _her_ feel. She also couldn't help but notice how attractive he was when he smiled. She had thought it before, but after a night in his arms, the attraction had grown. She shook her head of the thought.

"You mean you didn't go looking for it when you blew up Starkiller Base?" Rey asked with a smirk. It had been a great loss to the First Order, but it was before she had even committed to training under Kylo Ren, so she never felt much attachment to the giant weapon. In fact, a part of her felt relieved that a weapon that powerful was gone. She'd been taught that the ruthlessness exhibited against the Hosnian System was a necessary show of power in order to bring the galaxy back into order. Rey wasn't so sure.

Finn let out a chuckle and looked at her with an eyebrow raised at her dark humor. Perhaps he was surprised by _her_. Rey thought it a nice change. "Can't say I had much time to go rooting through the files—there was a bit of a time crunch, you know."

"So if you don't know where you're from, how do you know your name?"

Popping a few berries into his mouth, Finn let out a light laugh. "Finn isn't my birth name. Poe named me, when I told him my number."

"FN-2187," Rey said softly. "Finn."

Finn looked at her carefully. "Done some homework?"

She shook her head. "Of course I was told about you and your defection—but I haven't looked up where you're from or anything."

Finn looked a little disappointed. "That's too bad. Though, part of me doesn't want to know—sometimes it's easier just moving on with who I am now."

"Yeah," Rey said, shocked at how similar she was to him. "Rey isn't my birth name, either," she confided.

Finn didn't look surprised. But he responded with a query anyway. "Oh yeah?"

"It was a name I read on the side of an old rebel helmet. I liked it, and I couldn't remember my own. So..."

Finn looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "So you didn't feel like you had to change your name when you joined the Knights of Ren because it wasn't your birth name anyway?"

Rey nodded as she recalled the conversation from the previous day that left that question unanswered. She didn't want to think about why she was answering it now, so she took a bite of a red fruit of some kind instead. It wasn't all that sweet, but not terrible. "I didn't want to feel like I was changing who I was. Instead, I was just evolving with the Force. _Am_ evolving," Rey corrected, not wanting to give any indication that this planet, the ysalamiri, or Finn were messing with her mind. She was still Rey, Knight of Ren. So she redirected the conversation. "Have you thought about changing yours? Naming yourself, I mean?"

"I've thought about it," Finn said, after a moment of studying her. "I mean, Finn's a constant reminder of the First Order—my old life, the people I abandoned. But at the end of the day, it's a real part of me. And it's also a reminder that there are people who care about me now. Truly care about Finn the person, not FN the number."

Rey felt herself shudder, hating that she was envious of Finn. There should be no reason for jealousy—she was the one with more power, a more likely future in the galaxy, a galaxy that she could make better. And yet, the thought of someone caring about her was almost overwhelming. It had been her dream for years, of someone caring enough to come back for her.

Kylo Ren had helped her see that it was her only weakness holding her back. He'd freed her from the prison of empty hope. And yet, here she was, finding that hope returning. A hope for a friend, for family.

They finished eating in relative silence. Rey was amazed they had had such a meaningful conversation without coming to blows—at least verbal ones. She thought it ironic, then, when Finn picked up the sticks he'd been holding earlier and asked, "Care to spar a bit?"

A grin came to Rey's face. "Too scared to use a real weapon?" she challenged, but not mockingly.

"Perhaps afraid that I'll accidentally kill you and lose my way off this island," Finn responded with a smile of his own, not backing down. He tossed her a stick as she stood.

The wood was sturdy, unlikely to break under the force they'd be exerting. She felt the weight in her hands, adjusting to it as she swung it around experimentally.

"Let's do this, then," she said, and charged at Finn. Their sticks clashed in the air, and she locked eyes with Finn. They both grinned at each other before pushing off and beginning their spar in earnest.

Unlike with their lightsaber duel, Rey didn't have to be so defensive in her attack plan. She swung her stick aggressively, leaving Finn to parry and backpedal, instead of the other way around. After a few moments, Finn started to get the hang of her new technique and appropriately countered.

She swung wide, and instead of blocking her as he'd done repeatedly before, he leaned back, narrowly avoiding being hit. Then he struck out at her stick, carrying its momentum forward, spinning Rey around slightly. Finn took the opportunity to wrap her up from behind and bringing his own stick to her neck.

"A little too confident now we're fighting with sticks?" he whispered in her ear. Rey hated that she lost. But she hated it more that she didn't mind being held tightly to Finn and feeling his breath against her skin once more. An image of sleeping in his arms again flashed through her mind.

She threw her elbow backwards, catching Finn in his stomach. He let out an "oof" and he released her, and backed up. He had a grin on his face as he tried to catch his breath. "Serves me right, I guess?"

Rey tried to hide the smile that came to her face by throwing herself back into the battle. They matched blow for blow, grins on their faces as they tried to deliver a powerful strike to the other.

Finn was the better swordsman. Rey hated to admit it, but it was obvious he had learned technique that Kylo Ren thought was unnecessary. And with the aid of the Dark Side of the Force, she had no doubt she'd simply be able to overpower him, both in mind and body.

But as he blocked each of her advances with relative ease, and she found herself battling against fatigue and his attack, it became apparent. He was better.

Sweat covering her face, Rey blocked his thrust, then leapt over a low sweep of his stick. He then lashed out with his foot, sending her onto her back. He stepped forward quickly, standing on her sword arm and bringing his stick to her face once more. He had a smile on his face—but it wasn't one of gloating, but fun.

And as much as she hated losing, Rey had to admit that she had been having fun, too. It was so much different than the intense training with Kylo Ren, where the two Force users would grow increasingly angry until one had overpowered the other.

Despite the fun she was having, though, Rey still wanted to have a small victory, even if she'd been beaten again.

"Do you yiel—" Finn began, but Rey interrupted him. She contorted her body, bringing her legs up to kick him behind his knees. His weight gave slightly with the pressure, allowing Rey to reach up and shove him to the ground. She scrambled after him, straddling him and bringing her stick to his neck.

After catching his breath from the fall, the smile returned to Finn's face. "I guess you don't yield. That was pretty cool." He looked up at her, almost with a proud expression. Certainly an impressed one. Rey couldn't understand this man. She quirked her head to the side. "I mean...not for me, obviously. But a great move. Should've seen it coming."

"You're not upset I got the best of you?" Rey asked.

Finn shrugged. "Sure. But now I've got a pretty girl straddling me, so it can't be all bad, can it?"

His tone was light, joking even. Yet his words sent a flush up her face and instantly Rey became very aware of her presence atop his body. Not wanting him to see that he had affected her, Rey stubbornly stayed where she was and glared back at him.

He smirked at her. "You are a tough one to figure out, Rey."

Rey scoffed and moved closer to his face, more of her body stretching along his. Her curves now ran along his firm chest, sending heat throughout her body. "Only one of us has behaved on this island as expected, Finn. You're the strange one."

Finn nodded, and he shifted a little underneath her. He lost his smirk, his eyes growing a shade darker. His voice came out quieter, like he was keeping a secret. "That is certainly true—but in just a day, you've gone from trying to kill me to straddling me."

"With a stick to your neck," Rey clarified, though she'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy his warm body underneath her. 

In a swift movement that Rey hadn't been expecting, Finn spun around quickly, reversing the roles in an instant. Rey wanted to swear at her stupidity. She'd been distracted, and given up the leverage necessary to stay in her dominant position. "But without much of a threat to use it," Finn countered, and Rey let the stick fall from his neck.

Unlike what she had been doing, Finn put no pressure on her body; he simply hovered over her, his hands on either side of her. "I can't kill you if I want a guarantee off this island," Rey said, but her voice was soft.

"Right," Finn said, matching her volume of voice. "Is that the only reason?"

"Of course it is," Rey responded quickly. Too quickly. Finn smiled at her—he must have thought she answered too quickly, too. He simply stared at her for a long moment, his eyes darting across her face. Rey felt herself doing the same, studying the way his lips curved with his smile.

Rey had spent the past year of her life not taming her emotions, but feeding off of them. Reaching for the passions within her and letting them dictate her actions. So when Finn leaned towards her, ever so slightly, eyes trained on her lips, that was all it took.

Rey quickly closed the gap between them, pressing her lips desperately to his. He let out a light growl, which served to silence any voice in the back of her mind screaming at her for kissing him. Finn let his body press against hers as he moved a hand to cup behind her head, pulling her tighter to him.

Feeling his weight on her, his hot, wet lips against her own, Rey's body hummed with pleasure. She didn't know pleasure like this existed. She certainly never would have guessed it could come from her enemy. And in an odd, twisted way, that may be what made it so good.

He started to pull away, but Rey chased his lips with hers, catching them and bringing Finn back in. Quickly, he slipped his tongue into her mouth, and their spar resumed there. Rey felt her hands running along his sides, up his strong chest. He groaned as her nails scratched his skin, even through his clothes.

His own hands stayed in safer areas, but his fingers running along her scalp and through her hair was every bit as sensual as what she was doing to him. Rey tilted her head back as Finn shifted his body weight and leaned down to pepper kisses along her jaw and to her neck. They seemed to get sloppier and wetter with each pass of his lips, like he was losing control. Rey would have it no other way.

But he was a Jedi, and had trained to be in control. Against all odds and evidence to the contrary, Finn managed to stop. "Rey," he said, with heaving breaths. Not wanting to face the consequences of their actions, Rey attempted to reel him back in, as she had done just moments earlier.

She grabbed at his hips and pulled them flush to hers, sending pleasure and excitement through her body at the contact. The sound of Finn's moan made Rey think he had liked it every bit as much as she had. But, amazingly, Finn kept his gaze averted, breathing deeply to gain control of himself.

"Rey, this isn't..."

"Who cares if it's wrong?" Rey asked, a haze of lust still clouding her judgment. "We're the only ones here. And soon enough, we can go back to being enemies."

"I wasn't going to say it's wrong," Finn said softly, finally meeting her eyes again. They were still dark with hunger, but there was a strange brightness of hope to them. "It's not the way it should happen."

Rey frowned. "You're saying there is a way it should?"

"No," Finn responded quickly. "Well...maybe."

And at that, he backed off of her. Rey stared at him in utter bewilderment. What could he possibly be getting at?

He stood up slowly, eyes not leaving Rey. He slowly extended his hand. "It's just...I'm finding it harder and harder to imagine fighting you for real again one day, Rey. And it would be near impossible if any more of... _this_ ," he said, motioning to where she lay, where _he'd_ just been laying, "keeps happening. And as great as that idea is, it's just not real. Yet."

Rey stared at him incredulously. "So, what? You're holding on to that hope? That we won't be enemies? And what, Finn? That I'll rush to your arms and we'll live happily ever after?"

Finn looked a little uncertain, but he kept his eyes on hers. "I can think of worse endings," he said softly.

Rey continued to frown. But she reached out and grabbed his hand anyway. He helped her up, and they looked at each other quietly for a long moment. Rey had cooled down, now, her mind once more in control of her body. Only, her thoughts had shifted.

Finn was right; a day ago she wanted to kill him. Now, if she were selfish, that happy ever after scenario sounded just fine to her.

But she hadn't embraced the Dark Side for selfish reasons. "The worse endings are happening all over the galaxy, Finn. And I still intend on fixing them."

She turned from Finn and headed back toward the camp, content that she had put up a fight for what she believed in. But she was still grateful when Finn quickly caught up to her and walked by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to end a bit differently. But as I was writing, Rey's character felt a bit off until I stopped thinking of her as the Rey from TFA, but rather the Rey that's been training under the Dark Side for a year. Ultimately, I'm much happier with the the direction it took, and think it's more true to her character within this story. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.


	5. Heat

The day passed away quickly, as Rey and Finn improved their campground and went looking for more food together. Unlike the previous day, Rey _wanted_ to be with Finn. She told herself it was to keep an eye on him. Perhaps she'd learn something about him that helped her understand him and his motivations better. Know thy enemy.

But she knew the truth, no matter how much she tried to deny it. She liked being around Finn.

The two didn't so much as mention their brief moment of shared passion. Rey supposed it was for the better. While talking about it may help dispel the undeniable sexual tension following them around on the island, leaving it be kept them from fighting about Light and Dark. And Rey was grateful for that, because she was as troubled about the matter as she'd ever been.

Being without the Force had done a number on Rey. It left her feeling empty and lost, grasping at the memory of what the Darkness felt like to keep her from making any drastic decisions. Finn was somehow filling that void with his charm and bright attitude. 

However, the worst part wasn't that she was drawn to him, or that she was allowing him to fill that void. What truly frightened Rey was the realization that she preferred Finn to the hate and anger that had been driving her for the better part of a year.

It took one day. One day for her to start doubting all she had been learning—and believing—for a full year. And Rey knew it wasn't on the strength of Finn's arguments of Light. Her doubt came from his every action, his smiles, his care, the look in his eyes, his hope for her. There was something in him that felt _right_ , and it terrified her. 

"This is shaping up to be a much better meal than last night," Finn startled her out of her thoughts. "Two is better than one, I suppose."

Rey gave a non-committal noise as they marched back to her Tie Fighter, recognizing that their haul for the evening was, indeed, better than their previous meal.

They set to cooking the meal, snacking on berries that they'd picked while they waited. Their conversation stayed on relatively safe topics, with Finn asking her how Captain Phasma was doing. After her casual response, he told a story of when he'd really set her off one time for helping Slip through a training course. 

"That was the third time that year I got sent to reconditioning," Finn concluded with a hint of a smile.

"You're proud of that?" Rey asked, curious about the only Stormtrooper to successfully defect.

"In hindsight," Finn responded affirmatively, firelight dancing on his smiling features. "At the time, I was panicked, wondering what was wrong with me. No one else required reconditioning as much as me."

"It was the Force," Rey stated. "I've always wondered how Kylo Ren didn't catch it."

Finn looked rather smug for a moment. "It's a bit ironic, really. Their reconditioning program kept my Force sensitivity dormant. The tools of their control kept the Knights of Ren from getting a hold of me. Which is a huge blessing, because I know how persuasive they can be—I'd have been a goner for sure." Finn gave Rey a meaningful look.

"They're persuasive because they're right," Rey responded with more surety than she was feeling. "The Dark Side of the Force is the only way to bring true order to the galaxy."

Finn nodded before he responded dryly. "Yes, I've heard it all. I had to listen to a number of Hux's speeches during my time on Starkiller, after all."

A laugh escaped Rey's mouth before she could stop it. Finn's eyes darted to hers and a wide smile covered his face.

"Ah," he whispered with a tilt of his head, eyes flashing in the firelight. "And she has a beautiful laugh, to boot."

Rey looked away as a blush crept up her skin. "Hux is the worst," Rey confided, hoping to redirect his attention. "He's brilliant, of course, but he behaves like a child sometimes."

Finn studied her for a long while before continuing the conversation. "The worst was the messages he had recorded that I had to listen to every single morning." He paused and looked thoughtful for a moment. "No, the worst was that I seemed to be the only one who didn't buy into all the propaganda. No one else questioned a thing, so I was left to doubt alone."

A strange thought occurred to Rey. "You were lonely, growing up?"

Finn took his time to answer the question. He made to look busy as he checked the food on the rotisserie, but Rey knew he was just thinking about his answer.

"I hardly feel like I can complain about loneliness to you, Rey."

A tone of voice she had never heard in her life. Compassion.

It wasn't quite pity, because there was nothing condescending in his speech. And she knew condescending. Since she was left on Jakku, she was always made to feel like she was less than the sand of that hellish planet. And when she was picked up by Kylo Ren, even after his interrogation of her, he always treated her like she was less than him. Like she owed him everything.

She looked at her hands, unsure of the warmth that spread through her at Finn's words.

"Do you ever think..." Finn started. He took a deep breath. "Do you ever think how things might be, if you'd come with Poe and me?"

Rey looked up at him sharply. It was as if he knew about the dream she'd had the previous night. But he couldn't possibly.

"When Kylo Ren took me, I did," Rey responded safely.

"And never since then?" Finn asked, his eyebrows knit together.

There was a long pause. And for whatever reason, Rey responded honestly. "Not until last night."

In the stunned silence that followed, Rey cursed herself inwardly for her weakness. She knew better than to open up to anyone, much less her enemy. People took advantage of other people—that's all they did. And now she'd supplied him with ammo for any future meeting.

"I've thought about it almost every day since I learned about your abduction," Finn said softly. 

All thoughts of weakness left Rey's mind as she stared at Finn in shock. "Why...why would you care?"

It was Finn's turn to look away in embarrassment. "I knew I felt something, Rey. Didn't you feel it? That day on Jakku? If only I'd known it was the Force, telling us something. If only I'd known what the Force _felt_ like—I wouldn't have left without you."

For a moment, Rey couldn't breathe. She'd never allowed herself to think it. Every time the thought entered her mind that the Force had been guiding her to go with Finn that day, she shook it off. Told herself that it was just that it was the first time she had met another Force-sensitive.

"I wasn't supposed to go with you Finn," Rey responded, though her own voice sounded unsure even to her. "That was just us feeling the Force in each other. There was no messa—"

"You don't believe that," Finn told her. 

"I do!" Rey responded desperately, a little anger building in her almost out of habit after a year of training to tap into it. "And I'm grateful for it. The galaxy's future belongs to the First Order."

Finn looked at her for a long time, and she dared him to contradict her again with her gaze. He studied her features, and Rey did her best to conceal any emotion that might give away her uncertainty. Without the Force, body language was all he'd be able to read. She straightened up, like her days of silent rebellion against Unkar Plutt, and glared at him.

He let out a sigh and returned to tending to the meal. Rey knew she should feel victorious, but she knew as well as Finn surely did that she didn't believe her own words.

The evening passed in relative silence. Finn wasn't unfriendly. But it was clear he didn't want to talk anymore. Perhaps he was afraid of driving her further away, or maybe he was afraid of what _he_ might say.

Either way, Rey was simultaneously grateful for, and disappointed in, the lack of conversation. It normally kept her mind too occupied to wrestle with her own confused feelings and thoughts. And, if she was being honest with herself (which the lack of conversation forced her to be), she enjoyed talking to Finn. He was funny and kind, and she felt oddly comfortable around him.

When the meal was finally ready, Finn put it on the make-shift plate made of bark that they had used that morning. Then he stood from his place on the opposite side of the fire and sat next to Rey, almost up against her shoulder. The air was starting to get chilly, and Rey was grateful for the body warmth. At least, that's what she told herself as she naturally leaned against his shoulder.

Finn glanced at her, a soft and unreadable expression on his face. He set the food down and removed his robes. Without asking her, he gently slid them around her shoulders. Rey put up no fight, touched at the simple gesture. He picked the food back up, and they ate together in a silence that brought back the tension of their intimacy. Despite the fire and the robes, Rey once again found herself leaning against Finn.

The night passed as the fire died down, and Rey couldn't remember ever feeling so... _content_. In the back of her mind, she knew it was all so wrong. This life that she was living on this island was fool's gold. She knew the power of the Force, and it would never let her be at peace with what was going on here. When the Darkness flowed through her once more, Finn would be an enemy. And if the Light grew stronger as a result of this experience, she wouldn't be able to live with some of the things she'd done as a Knight of Ren. It was unavoidable that this day would torment her for a long, long time.

But that notion was surprisingly easy to push aside, as her head gently rested on Finn's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her back and leaned his head against hers. And despite herself, she needed to talk to him more about their only current source of contention. To see if there was any way—any version of this scenario that didn't result in them being enemies.

"I promise not to argue again tonight, Finn. I just...I want to know why you left. Why you left the fight for the First Order and joined the fight for the resistance."

She felt Finn take a deep breath as his shoulder slowly lifted her head. "I couldn't kill for them, Rey."

"But I've seen you kill dozens of Troopers," Rey commented, not argumentatively. She just wanted to understand him.

Finn nodded beside her. "And it's hard," he said softly. "It's not my natural disposition to hurt people. But I know what the First Order does, what its ultimate goal is. And it needs to be stopped. I've got the power to stop it."

Rey frowned, now upset that she had promised not to argue.

"You want to say something," Finn said with a chuckle. "Go ahead."

Rey finally lifted her head off of his shoulder to look him in the eye. "The ultimate goal is to bring order and justice to the galaxy. How is that not something you want?"

Finn nodded. "That's fair. Their goal is a worthy one, you're right." Rey nodded back at him, glad he was reasonable. "It's their means that I don't agree with."

And Rey could not argue that. She agreed with it. The Darkness in her had allowed her to look past it. But sitting here, now, she had no words. 

"The end—as wonderful and grand as it is—does not justify those means," Finn continued. "I was ordered to kill a bunch of villagers, Rey. All because one of their neighbors had kept information from Kylo Ren. Or maybe it was their religion, I'm not sure." Finn stopped for a moment, and his frown deepened. It seemed like now that he'd gotten started, his opinion was only worsening. "And that's another problem. There's no explanation from them—Hux, Ren, Snoke. Wherever he is. They just do all this horrible shit and expect the galaxy to be okay with it in the name of order. They killed billions of people!"

Rey kept her mouth shut, hating how right he was.

"I wouldn't kill for them," Finn concluded. "But I will kill for individuals. For their lives, for their rights, for their freedom. The things I _know_ are right."

Rey stared at the fire for a while. She had asked for it. And she got an answer she didn't like. But she only disliked it because it made so much sense. Eventually, her head fell back on Finn's shoulder as they stared at the fire in silence. She opened her mouth many times to talk to him. But she always closed it without a word because she had no idea what she would say. Could she argue with him? Would she tell him he was right?

So the conversation died as minutes turned into an hour and the stars shone brightly above them. Rey's eyes grew heavy eventually, and in her tired state, she thought she imagined Finn pressing his lips against her hair. She responded with a long yawn.

"I guess we should get some sleep, yeah?" Finn asked. The fire was little more than embers under ash. "You're not going to try the cockpit again, are you?"

Rey pulled back and smirked at him. "Now I know why you put a hole in the cockpit. You just wanted an excuse to sleep with me."

She hadn't meant it to sound so suggestive. Especially after they had silently moved on from their previous display of affection. But since it already left her mouth, she couldn't exactly back down from the challenge. So she quirked an eyebrow at his stunned reaction. Finn coughed in surprise before it turned into laughter. "I guess you figured me out," he responded with a smile, though his eyes couldn't quite meet hers.

"Well, I suppose it worked, because this blasted planet _is_ a bit too cold at night."

So they walked towards the makeshift hut, and the situation was suddenly awkward. There hadn't been this much tension all day long—and even then, this tension was charged with something else entirely.

Rey settled down on the ground, pulling off Finn's robes as she did so. Finn lay next to her, with significant space between the two of them. "Here," she said quietly as she handed him the edge of his robes. 

He reached out and pulled one end of the garment around him, scooting _slightly_ closer when he noticed he had pulled the robe off of her a little with the action. "Thanks," he replied.

They lay there, each as rigid as a board. Rey wasn't yet cold, still warm from the fire, movement, and Finn. But she knew the cold would come, and she would wish Finn was closer once more. Did she have to wait until she was shivering? How does one ask an enemy to hold her tightly so she doesn't get cold? How could she even call him an enemy anymore?

"Finn?" she asked softly.

"Yeah?" came a shaky reply.

"I..."

After a moment of silence, a strange response. "Rey?"

"Yeah?" Rey asked uncertainly.

"I'm a little cold, do you—"

Before he could finish, Rey slid over, unbelievably grateful that _he_ had been the one to ask—even if she knew he was only asking for _her_ sake. Slowly, they shifted until they lay comfortably, as they had the night before. Rey pushed her back up against Finn's chest; she paid a bit closer attention to the way he felt this time, enjoying his strong chest pressed against her. Just one thing was different from the previous night. Rey could tell Finn didn't know what to do with his hand, as it alternated between resting on his own leg and hovering uncertainly over her middle.

She reached up and grabbed his hand, and brought it around her waist again.

Simultaneously, the pair let out a deep breath, which at least _Rey_ hadn't known she'd been holding. This caused both Rey and Finn to release nervous laughter.

"Hey Rey?" Finn asked, and she could almost hear his smile in his words. This brought a smile to her own face.

"Yeah?"

"Goodnight."

Rey closed her eyes, wiggled ever so slightly in Finn's embrace, and felt genuine peace. In a way she couldn't recall ever feeling before in her life.

"Goodnight, Finn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end, here. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!


	6. Light

A stream of light filtered through the lumber walls, forcing Rey from her peaceful slumber. Unlike the previous morning, she felt Finn stir immediately behind her. Without thinking much about it, Rey immediately greeted him.

"Good morning."

It was remarkable how deeply she had slept. It made so little sense, given the cold night, the hard ground, and the foreign body huddled next to her.

Sure, Jakku had had its share of cold, desert nights, which she often spent on the hard, if sandy ground. But never before had she spent a night with a man curled up beside her—so it was odd how right it felt.

"And to you, too," came his reply after a brief hesitation. She could feel him shift behind her, perhaps unsure of how appropriate his position was now that they were awake. It was only then that she realized she still had a light grip on his hand, which had wound its way around her middle.

"Finn," Rey started, wondering how things had come to this point. "I..."

"What is it, Rey?" Finn pressed after she hesitated.

"This doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"How...how right it feels?" Finn finished, clearly hesitant, but more brave than her to say what he was thinking.

It prompted action. She turned around in place, so she was face to face with the Jedi, mere inches apart. His arm was now resting on the small of her back, and he left it there even after the surprise of her movement had left his face. "I don't get it," she exclaimed with a groan. "It's been a day—and this doesn't make any sense!"

"Almost two days," Finn said with a slight grin. His eyes roamed her face, just as it had the previous day before they'd kissed. Rey couldn't deny her desire. But he'd stopped them before, and she didn't want a repeat of those events. 

"I miss the Force, Finn," she whispered. The words weren't completely true, however. She was happier in this moment than she'd ever been. But she was also as conflicted as she'd ever been since the day she accepted Kylo Ren's proposal to teach her.

Finn frowned. "You miss the Force making decisions for you," he said softly. 

Rey wanted to get angry at him for saying it, but was so shocked by its truth that she couldn't be. Her jaw dropped. "What do you mean?" 

His features softened and he lifted his hand off of her back and brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers. "You're feeling things you know you're not supposed to. And it's scary. I get that."

Again, Rey wanted to be angry. But she couldn't. "I just don't trust my feelings. Without the Force, I'm not getting the full picture."

"Maybe you're getting the picture at its barest. A sketch before the color is painted in. Doesn't mean it's not the same picture—just fewer distractions."

Rey pondered his words. She wanted to believe them. Wanted to think that her feelings toward Finn could survive the Darkness. 

Admitting those feelings to herself made Rey sigh. But they also made her a bit confused. She understood why she was drawn to Finn. He was very attractive, sure. But it wasn't his physical features that had kept her from enjoying his presence for the last day. He was funny, accidentally charming, and smart. But mostly, he was kind, and slow to judgment, and _good_. It scared her that she desired those qualities so much in another person.

And it made her wonder why he could look at _her_ —after all she'd done—like he was. Like she wasn't just the only person on this island, but the only person in the galaxy.

So she asked him. "Why are you here, Finn?"

His gaze faltered slightly. He looked away, like he was withholding something. But surely he wasn't, because he answered with more bluntness than she'd wanted. "You're inspiring, Rey."

She's sure she made a face of surprise before he continued quickly. "Master Luke has told me about the Dark Side. I've seen it firsthand. I've even felt it to a very small degree. It is suffocating in its appeal, tempting beyond even our basest of needs or desire, and once welcomed in, nearly impossible to turn away from. It can change us, destroy who we are."

Finn took a deep breath and finally looked her in the eyes once more. "And yet during my one day with me, you've shown in either words or actions that it doesn't have its grip on your soul."

"The Force has been gone, Finn," Rey argued lightly. Honestly, she wasn't sure if she was terrified or proud of his opinion of her.

Finn pressed on, still gazing into her eyes with an intensity that Rey could neither endure nor look away from. "The Force may not be here, Rey, but it's corruption of your heart should be. But your heart hasn't been darkened. You are glad the Starkiller was destroyed even though it set your First Order back years. You desire for the galaxy to be safe far more than you desire the power to make it that way. You manage to have compassion, though you've never felt it from another."

Rey couldn't breathe. His words rang so true, she wondered if he had been faking not having the Force this whole time. Surely he had probed her mind. "How do you know..."

"You don't get it, Rey," Finn said with a sad shake of his head. "You're inspiring because after a _year_ of being under the Dark's influence, you positively glow with Light and _good_. I know it because I can feel it coming off of you in droves, even without the Force."

She shook her head, not wanting to believe him. But what else could it be? She'd been having these exact feelings her entire time on the island, and he had known it. She ran her hand up Finn's stomach, and onto his strong chest. His eyes followed her movements. She felt his heartbeat on her fingertips. "Why did you have to be so..."

He smiled slowly as his eyes met hers. "So..."

Rey fought a blush, and decided to choose different words. "Why did you have to be my enemy, Finn? Why couldn't you just stay in the First Order?"

He wrapped his hand around her once more and pulled her ever so slightly closer to him. "I've already told you, Rey; you were meant to join me from the beginning. But not in the First Order."

"No," Rey fought softly, still clinging to the last of her Darkness, needing to believe that she hadn't spent the last year training for unspeakable horrors, committing a few along the way, and been in the wrong. "Kylo saved me."

Finn shut his eyes as impatience covered his features. "Rey, Ben Solo didn't save you."

"He did," Rey responded without much pushback. "The only way I was going to leave that planet was if I was forced. And he did that, and saved me from a miserable existence that whatever supposed family I have condemned me to."

"That's ironic," Finn scoffed quietly. But their faces were so close, of course Rey had heard him.

"What?"

Finn shook his head. "Nothing."

Rey sat up quickly. Their talk of Dark and Light had not been enough for her to run away from their intimate positions. But this...this she had waited for, for fourteen years on Jakku. "Do you know about my family, Finn?"

He let out a long sigh before standing up. His face, for the first time since arriving on the island, looked nervous—scared even. "It's time we go for a little hike, Rey. I'll tell you everything I know when we've reached our destination."

"What?" she asked immediately, brow furrowed in frustration. She stood up after him. "What are you talking about?"

Finn bent down and picked up his Jedi robe. He held it out to her with a question in his eyes as he replied to her. "I know things, Rey. And I didn't know when to tell you. I guess it's now, but this isn't the right place to tell you."

The air was still cold, but Rey batted the robe away from her. Anger started to well up in her. "What do you mean you know things?"

Finn sighed and headed out of the hut. Over his shoulder he called out, "I know things about you, Rey. Things I don't think you know yet. And I want to tell you everything I know."

"Then tell me now!" Rey shouted as she hurried after him.

He headed north at a healthy pace and let out a groan of frustration. "I really shouldn't have told you I was going to tell you things 'til we were closer to where I'm going to tell you."

Rey rolled her eyes, and matched his pace. She glared daggers into him. "Why the hell does it matter where you tell me?"

"Is it foolish of me to ask you to trust me?" Finn asked.

"Yes!" she replied immediately. Though, that reply would have been a whole lot more truthful just a day earlier.

"Right," Finn said with that little grin of his. In other circumstances, it might have brought a smile to Rey's own face. "Enemies. I keep forgetting."

"I won't let you ever forget it if you don't tell me what is going on, right now."

"Okay," Finn said defensively. "Can you just cool it, Rey? We've been doing good, right? I mean, the two of us, we've made this work, right?"

They continued to march through the forest. Finn seemed to know exactly where he was going, which bothered Rey. "Made what work? Survival? Yeah, Finn, we've been surviving!"

"Not just surviving, though," Finn replied, a little frustration on his face. "Come on, Rey."

Rey hesitated, which was probably all Finn needed to have his question answered. So she replied honestly. "Yes. Maybe a little more than surviving. Maybe...maybe there is some trust. But it's hanging in the balance here, Finn."

Finn nodded, a look of relief on his face. "I understand that, Rey," he admitted. "But...I hoped I wasn't the only one of us who...kind of _liked_ this situation we've been in."

Rey tried to keep her face impassive, though his admission of feelings—however vague they were—sent an odd happiness through her. But her happiness was quickly replaced with irritation as she noticed how easily Finn had disarmed her. "Where are we going, Finn?" Rey asked again, though a bit kinder than before.

Finn pushed through the final bunch of trees before bursting into a clearing. In front of them was the enormous crag that took up the northern portion of the island. It shot into the sky hundreds of feet above them. Finn pointed to the top.

"There."

Rey followed his finger up. "Why?"

"Because the answers I have for you will make much more sense up there."

Rey let out a groan of frustration and anger. She didn't understand what was happening. But she also, for some insane reason, trusted Finn—her supposed enemy.

Finn pressed on, and they began the strenuous hike. Rey had been a little upset with herself for not taking Finn's robe to give her some warmth. But after just a few minutes of hiking, as sweat started to bead on her forehead, she was grateful not to have the extra weight and heat.

It was obvious Finn knew where he was going. Rey was surprised, because the only time he had been alone long enough to hike the crag was the first night they'd arrived. But he had been hunting—surely without enough time to go for a hike. When she asked him, he simply replied with "I've never _been_ up here, Rey."

It took them nearly thirty minutes, navigating a few dangerous cliff edges along the way, but the top of the large rock formation came into view at last.

Rey didn't know what she expected when they got to the top, but it certainly wasn't this. It was nothing. Rey supposed under different circumstances, she'd have called it a beautiful perch to view an even prettier landscape. The ocean spread out around them in all directions, a deep blue that Rey had only dreamt of on Jakku, with an aureate glow of the sunlight's reflection. The morning sky still lit the clouds with golds and pinks, but the sun was warm on Rey's face and not a breeze was felt.

But the view aside, Rey could see nothing special about the crag-top. Finn came to a stop before they reached the summit and took a deep breath—more out of trepidation than fatigue. It was clear that he, like she, was in great shape and the climb had not taken too much out of him.

"Why was it so important, Finn," Rey ground out through her teeth. "To come up here?"

Finn turned to her with a twinge of sadness. "Whatever happens, Rey...I just want you to know that I really liked getting to know the _real_ you. And it was all worth it."

Rey stared at him in confusion, but he simply nodded his head forward, to the final few steps to the top.

Rey stepped forward, still unsure what she was looking for. And then it hit her.

The Force.

It swept through her soul and brought her to her knees in relief. It was like being completed, coming home. 

But then it changed, so suddenly, she wondered if those feelings had been real at all. She felt extreme pain, though not physical in nature. Her blood was fire. Nerves lightning. Body crushed under the weight of the Finalizer. 

She saw flashes of her Dark actions, prompting anger and guilt simultaneously. She dropped to her hands as memories of Finn, the young man on Jakku, flew through her mind, only to be replaced with her first duel with him when she'd nearly struck him down. Then both of those memories washed away with the warm feeling of waking up in his arms. She imagined Kylo Ren's fury at her weakness. Hux's sneer for the Light she'd let in. Snoke's disapproval, signaling her dismissal or execution. But she saw Finn's smile; his hand on her cheek; his eyes seeing her, only her, the _real_ her.

She was being torn apart; anger, happiness, loneliness, fear, and desperate longing flowed through her in such quick succession she thought she might faint. Instead, she cried out, hot tears spilling from her eyes.

She felt a physical presence at her side, an arm wrap around her side. Vaguely, she heard Finn's voice, asking her if she was okay. Instinctively, she leaned into the touch, that desperate longing returning in full force.

But then the anger resurfaced to the point of conquering all else. She bolted to her feet in an instant, her lightsaber flying into her hand, and the red blade emerged from the hilt. It came to rest under Finn's chin, and his eyes slowly rose to meet hers. She saw no fear in them. Only a resigned sadness.

And she met that sadness with blinding rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew...the Penultimate. Tell you what, after five chapters of Forceless Rey, I was excited to write something a bit more immaterial. The Force is such a fascinating concept, and I had fun thinking about how it would feel, even if I, sadly, am not Force-sensitive. I think it's absence would only make its power all the more poignant, especially when there's an internal battle of Light and Dark going on. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading.


	7. Force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come to the end at last. This story has been so much fun for me to write.
> 
> There are some plot points revealed in this chapter that may not match up with revealed cannon. A slight disappointment with the release of Bloodline, because I liked this theory so much. That said, it was in my plans before Bloodline came out, and this is an AU story anyway, so what does it matter? Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Finn was still on his knees. But his face now glowed with the eerie red light of her saber. And even now, moments from his death, he seemed at peace. It only infuriated Rey more.

"How long did you know about this?" Rey all but shouted. "How long have you kept the Force from me?"

"I've known about it for eight months," Finn stated simply. Rey dropped her weapon for a brief moment in shock. Finn could have used her lapse in concentration to get into a defensive stance. But he stayed where he was.

"Eight..." Rey repeated, bring the blade back to his neck. "What do you mean? You planned all of this?"

"The Force planned for us, Rey," Finn replied. He seemed to understand that she didn't want cryptic replies at the moment, though, because he quickly clarified. "I have been having visions of this island, of my time with you here, for eight months."

"Since our first duel," Rey said to herself. Visions of the future were much more common among the Light Side, and as such, Rey hadn't had much of an experience with them. "What happens next?" Rey asked, threateningly. She hoped to scare him into believing whatever he had seen might not come to pass.

"This is the end of my vision," Finn replied, though she knew it wasn't in response to her threats. And his honest reply made the flurry of emotions running through her all the more confusing. Why would he still bring her here, if the last thing he saw was her blade at his throat?

She retracted the blade. "Stand up, Finn," she said, still fuming with anger.

Finn got up from his kneeling position and met her angry gaze with all the calmness of a meditating Jedi. Perhaps that's what he had been doing, there on his knees.

"I'm sorry, Rey," Finn said softly, and she hated that she believed his apology. "I didn't know if I should tell you what was up here. I didn't know if you would think I was manipulating you. I swear I wasn't trying to; I just didn't want you to come up on your own and...and forget."

Rey closed her eyes and breathed heavy breaths. "Forget what, Finn?"

"That there's another way to live, without the anger and hurt," Finn answer simply.

"Let's just add _guilt_ and _loneliness_ into the mix then, shall we?" Rey raged at Finn, not sure how much more of the pain she could take. "Anger was _easy_ , damn it!"

"I'm sorry!" Finn shouted back at her, and she believed him again. And for the first time, she wondered if, under the calm exterior, Finn had a battle of his own going on. "For eight months I've been dreading this! And yet it couldn't have come soon enough."

"Why?" Rey managed to ask, curiosity temporarily displacing the war in her soul. Curious why this man couldn't wait to reach his vision of a light saber at his throat.

And Finn opened his soul to her, a link in the Force becoming available. Despite the fear of adding _more_ pain to the mix, Rey reached out and caught hold of his mind. "Because I haven't slept right in eight months thinking about what you've been put through. Because I should have taken you with me on Jakku. Because my visions of you were sometimes the only thing that kept me going, training, and hoping, and I had to find out if the _real_ you was as inspiring."

What Finn didn't say, but Rey felt from him, was that the past two nights she'd been in his arms had been the first true night's sleep he'd had since the visions started. That the guilt he felt for not taking her from Jakku was as bad as the guilt she was feeling for the atrocities she'd committed in Snoke's service. That he believed the "real" her was, indeed, inspiring. And hidden behind it all, that Finn wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her close to him.

But even though she wanted it, too—desperately, even—she couldn't let go of the Dark Side, clawing at her to kill him. To end the suffering she felt in her soul by ending his. Her blade reignited. In the red glow of her blade, Finn's face showed no fear, only heartbreaking sadness.

" _This_ is the 'real' me, Finn!" she shouted, desperate to believe it, so the pain would stop. "Not some weak girl on Jakku, or a Forceless stick-fighter."

"I know," Finn said softly. "Why do you think I brought you here?"

Rey felt her chest heave with each breath, her soul weighed down by the choice before her. And oddly enough, it felt like the choice had to be made now. On a crag above the island without the Force.

"Lift your weapon!" Rey shouted, wishing he would make it easier on her to kill him. He didn't. "Why aren't you defending yourself!"

"I'd rather die," Finn said, his eyes glossy with emotion. "You aren't my enemy. Don't you get it, Rey? I've being watching you for eight months, fighting against the Darkness, letting Light back in. So few have ever been able to do what you've already done."

His praise did little for her—but hearing him state that she was no longer his enemy made her internal debate all the more urgent. But she was desperate to buy more time before she made her choice. Her blade retracted again. "Why should I give up the power?"

A slight look of hope came into Finn's eyes. "Because power isn't happiness. And I think you've tasted it now."

"You haven't been happy; you said it yourself, for eight months."

Finn raised his eyebrow. "And it was the Dark Side that caused that misery," he replied confidently. "Besides, I always had hope. And that hope gave me happiness."

"Hope is for the weak," Rey retorted harshly. "Hope leaves a girl on a desert as a slave when she can fly away from it at any time. Hope keeps the weak in check while the powerful create Order."

Finn countered quickly, his voice cold. "Order that kills the innocent, that deprives others of happiness, that takes a boy from his parents or a girl from that desert and changes them into something twisted."

"Order that _saved_ that miserable girl from herself!" Rey shouted. "When the First Order is in charge, there won't be slavery. When the First Order is in charge, all will bow to its grand power and obey the simple natural laws that would prevent it from ever happening. No more hungry, no more wrongfully imprisoned, no more war tearing families apart."

Finn shook his head sadly. "Except at that point, after all that's been done, no one will care enough about the innocent to make it happen."

"I will care," Rey said softly, and her heart broke a little as she reflected on how far she'd come since she was that scavenger on Jakku. How much she'd done. She didn't know if Finn believed her. She found it strange how much she desperately wanted to be believed, even if not by herself.

"I hope so," Finn replied.

And there was silence. Rey determined to still have a sense of morality. Finn hoping for it to be true. And it pulled at her. 

"He saved me," Rey said softly, trying to hold on to the Dark. Or perhaps it was the Dark desperately clinging to her. "He killed the hope of a family returning, and he _freed_ me, Finn. Freed me from my prison of hope."

"Rey," Finn responded meaningfully. Rey looked up at him through tears she hadn't known had returned to her eyes. "Kylo Ren didn't save you from yourself. He's the one that put you there in the first place! Kylo Ren left you on Jakku with a blank memory and a desperate hope and belief in a family to return."

"Wha...what?" Rey asked, not understanding why Finn would concoct such a outlandish story after all the truth he'd given her. But he opened his mind to her once more, and along with waves of compassion came the undeniable fact that the story he was telling her was true. At least, to Finn's understanding. This was why he'd brought her back to the Force, so she would believe his story.

"When Ben Solo turned on the young Jedi Order, he killed everyone. Every Jedi-in-training except one. He couldn't kill you," Finn said, and he stepped closer to Rey. "He couldn't kill his own cousin."

Rey let out a gasp, unable to process all the information so quickly. "You were told a lie."

"Maybe," Finn replied, but shook his head. "I don't know why Luke Skywalker would lie about this, though. I don't know how he could fake the pain he was _still_ feeling when I first met him. The pain of all the lost younglings was tremendous; but it was nothing compared to the pain of having lost his daughter."

"Why didn't he come after me?" Rey demanded through angry tears. She wiped at her face furiously.

"You were dead," Finn replied, a step closer now. "Until his new understudy started having visions about a girl, and the pieces started to fall into place."

"Why didn't he come for me when he found out!"

"What do you think I'm doing here, Rey?" And he reached out and took her hands.

" _He_ should be telling me this! _He_ should look me in my eyes, and tell his daughter that he failed her. That he let her grow up alone, and scared, and desperate for him to return."

Finn's eyes welled up with tears that threatened to fall. "Oh, Rey, why didn't I just take you with me," he said, his voice shaking. "Then you'd know his misery; that he was every bit as alone, and scared, and desperate as you. Damn it, why didn't I just take you!"

"Because you're not _him_ ," Rey said aloud. And they stared at each other for a moment, and it all clicked. Knowing that it was, indeed, the Dark Side that had put her on Jakku suddenly rewrote her view of being saved by it. And without that notion of Kylo Ren saving her, Rey had little else to hang on to.

"Because it's always been about freedom for you, Finn. You left the First Order because their orders were not your own beliefs. You let _me_ choose on Jakku whether to go with you or not. You willingly came here, knowing I'd have a saber to your throat, all to give me that choice again."

"And it makes me weak?" Finn guessed, eyebrow raised.

Slowly, Rey shook her head. "No. It makes you the one person I can trust. Not Kylo Ren, and not Luke Skywalker. Because you're the one person who won't control me."

Finn released her hands and wrapped his own around her waist tentatively. Rey lifted her hand to touch his face gently. "You'll always be able to trust me, Rey. I'll never lie to you or deceive you again."

Rey shook her head slowly as an odd feeling of comfort and peace overcame her tortured soul. Through only his actions, Finn was making her rethink her entire philosophy. And with her new thoughts, the anger and the hate began to slip away. "All this time, the future I've wanted for the galaxy—I believed I could force it on them. But...if it's not their choice, is it truly a better future? Am I no better than Unkar Plutt, forcing a girl to scavenge or else die or starvation?"

Finn didn't reply. Only a soft smile came to his face.

"I...I can't go back, Finn. But I can't come with you, either."

The smile didn't leave his face, but only grew. "Of course you can. You're free to do whatever you want now."

Rey's eyes stung with happiness as a new sense of freedom swept through her. She'd always been a prisoner. Whether of an empty hope on Jakku or of the Dark Side in the First Order. But for the first time in her life, nothing was guiding her decisions but her. 

Except, perhaps, for the strong pull she felt to Finn.

"What if I didn't?" Rey asked. She knew his answer already, because she understood him now. But she wanted to hear it anyway.

Finn shrugged. "I'd be devastated, of course. But if you didn't go back to the First Order either, I'd be happy for you. That you're finally free of them."

Rey realized quickly that Finn had been through this before. "Unlike you, Finn...I've done things. Things I can't undo."

Finn nodded. "The Dark Side is part of your past," he said softly, and it caused her to look into his eyes, filled with sympathy but no judgment. "But you get to decide how it affects your future. You can run from it, and create a nice life for yourself. Or you can come with me, and try to stop it from ruling anyone else's life."

And the pull returned. Not just a pull to Finn, but to the Light. If she couldn't right her wrongs, she could prevent future atrocities from being committed. 

"I'm scared."

"Me too," Finn admitted, and his grip on her tightened. "In a weird way, I preferred a lightsaber to my neck over wondering what you'll decide now."

Rey laughed. She leaned forward and pressed her face into his neck and wrapped her arms around him. "Finn, I...I don't know what to do."

"Let me help you," Finn said. His arms wrapped around her and he squeezed her gently. Rey didn't think she'd even been hugged before. At least not in her memory. 

She'd always been alone. And for the first time in her life, she wasn't. He came for her as no one ever had. Years and years of waiting for family, and he was finally here.

"I think I'd like that," Rey said softly.

Finn let out a deep breath and squeezed her tightly. "Poe's been orbiting for the past two days. I can signal him, and he'll be down here in a few minutes." Finn pulled back and looked deep into her eyes. "Oh, Rey, you have no idea how happy I am right now." He picked her up and swung her around.

Rey couldn't help the peal of laughter that escaped her. When he finally put her back down and lightened his hold on her, Rey pulled back enough to look him in the eyes. His smile matched her own.

"I think I might, Finn," Rey responded. She knew there was a long road ahead. It would not be so easy to remove the Darkness completely. And there were things she'd done that she could never undo. But, looking at Finn's grinning face, there was a moment of perfect clarity where the Light filled her entirely and her smile widened. Rey knew there was a path ahead for her. And happiness was a hell of a first step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the support and kind words throughout the story. I have a few ideas for a sequel. This story felt complete to me--the story of Rey using a reprieve from the Force to reevaluate who she was, with Finn's help, of course. However, her story is far from complete, whether it is her relationship with Finn or Luke, her continued struggle with the Dark or her past, or the eventual reunion with Kylo Ren. There's a lot left to tell, and if there is enough desire, I will certainly set to work writing.


End file.
